


bear loves fish x infinity (plus 2)

by amandaskankovich



Series: you're the answer [7]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-27
Updated: 2014-09-27
Packaged: 2018-02-18 22:40:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2364656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amandaskankovich/pseuds/amandaskankovich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Her stupid little head is full of stupid little plans and so many words.</p>
            </blockquote>





	bear loves fish x infinity (plus 2)

Her stupid little head is full of stupid little plans and so many words.  
She’s not a writer but she writes to her anyway or tries to. Begins to text one unsent message after another: You know how they have those nature documentaries and they show the salmon swimming by so fast (maybe they’re leaping? I don’t know? I remember them leaping but I’m also not sure if I’ve ever actually watched any of those documentaries or if I’ve just heard them mentioned so often in movies or in passing I just believe I have) but anyway the fish are swimming or leaping   
Fish don’t leap.  
In my memory they do but anyway…  
You know that there are salmon and you know that they go by and they go by and they go by and then there’s this bear and it reaches down and it snatches a fish up. In his mouth or with his claws I don’t remember and maybe it doesn’t actually matter because what does matter is the bear snatches up the fish.  
OK. Anyway.  
I think that’s you and me.  
She sends none of these and that tells her that she’s holding it somewhat together.  
*  
She’s still thinking of bears and fish when she leaves her house and starts walking.

When she finally realizes just where in the hell she’s going she thinks, “Okay maybe I’m not holding it together at all.”  
*  
She stands in front of the Kash and Grab and she wishes she had the excuse that she was drunk.  
But she’s blind stinking sober.  
She’s just sad that’s all it is.  
She’s just so fucking sad.  
*  
But she walks in and she gets it immediately that as bad of an idea as this had originally been it was 10x worse.  
Because Ian’s there yes.  
And she knew he would be she’d been looking for him.  
But Mickey’s there too and she forgot about him.  
And the air’s heavy with something had just gone down that was none of her fucking business. Raised voices and all that. The air is thick with it.  
Child of divorce and all that she can practically smell it.  
But still she smiles at Mickey because in so many years she has never entered into his immediate space and not smiled at him, “Hey.” She says.  
But he’s already rubbing his mouth and heading away but he stops and looks at her says, “Later Jackson.”  
Then he’s out the door.  
If Ian had been on the verge of crying before she walked in he’s not doing that in front of her.  
And if she had been in a similar state before walking in she sure as shit isn’t doing it in front of him.  
She means to head for the beer but knows he won’t sell to her just to be an asshole so she grabs a cherry coke instead.  
He takes her money wordlessly.  
She stands around too long after.  
"Anything else?" he asks.  
She’s going to ask, “So he made you cry?”  
She’s going to say,”He made me cry once but I was 9 I think and then Mandy punched him in the stomach.”  
"What do you want?" He asks.  
"How’s Lip?" She thinks about asking, "He’s gotta be over me by now right?"  
"How’s Mandy?" She opens her mouth and actually asks.  
After Mandy punched her brother in the stomach for her she wrote Karen Jackson loves Mandy Milkovich x infinity on Mandy’s bedroom wall because at Mandy’s house no one cared if you wrote on the walls.  
"I haven’t seen her in a few days," Ian said, "But she texted me the other night. Doesn’t seem like anything major’s going on."  
Karen opened her bottle of pop because she needed something to do with her fucking hands.  
Mandy had grabbed a pen and wrote: Mandy Milkovich loves Karen Jackson x infinity +2  
Not that same day.  
A year ago.

 

"Okay," Karen said, "I’m going to go."  
"Are you okay?" Ian asked.  
"Why?" Karen asked, "Don’t I look it?"  
"No," Ian said.  
"Well neither do you."  
They were silent.  
Karen pointed to her head, “Like it?”  
"Um…," Ian said and then after awhile, "yeah."  
Karen smiled at him wide and glowing as she could manage, “Fuck you.” She says still smiling, “Times infinity Ian.”

 

She headed for the exit.

"Plus 2!" she yelled as the door slammed close behind her.


End file.
